THE EYE OPENER

The other day I was traveling to my rural home alone. There were a few projects I was accomplishing knowing too well that that would earn me a good name in the village. That was not the only reason I was doing that though. I think I am also among the many people who spent many days without visiting their homes for various reasons. Some fear the many people they will meet and the only thing they ask is to buy them drinks. Of course, by doing that severally you will earn yourself a title of a mayor, a councilor or even a governor. Not that these people will ever vote for you if you ever vied for such a position. In fact nobody will ever try to recognize you in the ballot. I know of a friend of mine who tried that and he swore to me that he will never fall a victim to such fellows again. They are only your friends in the drinking dens.

Well, that’s not the point I wanted to make. I was cuddled up on the back seat with at least four other guys on a seat that was supposed to carry a maximum of three guys. I cannot remember how many people were in the 14 seater matatu but all I know is that it was a very good number. I almost suffocated but the rest were very comfortable. I think they enjoyed being that way. The air was really awful with a lot of noise that I never imagined would exist in such a place. I thought that maybe we would pass a police roadblock and the driver or rather his counterpart would at least be held responsible for their inhumane actions but I was about to be shocked later on.

With the vehicle speeding and being driven dangerously I could say very little since I knew that nobody would ever listen to me as they were really enjoying the nasty ride and in fact some were cheering the driver on. I wished time would fly so I could get off the vehicle. Luckily we reached the roadblock and I thought I could breathe a sigh of relief. Luckily I was seated next to the window and I therefore could have a better view of what was happening outside. I thought this was the time for the driver and his friend to pay. The guy in blue surely came around and pretended to be checking the insurance on the vehicle.He also pretended to check inside and to my amazement he smiled at the conductor. Then as the vehicle was heading away he was handed I think a one hundred note in a very smart way that nobody with an extra eye could notice. The vehicle sped off. I just wondered all the way home. If these were the things still happening on our roads then we will never get tired of listening to news about accidents on our roads.

 I later came to learn that this was a routine. Well, I decided to prepare my self for such scenes on my next visits and never to stay too long in the city so I would never be shocked the way I was on that day. But I really hope that this will not go on for another long time without something being done about it..just hoping against hope

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put, “trying to so the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.

I am a brick layer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six storey building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick leftover. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them down in a barrel using a pulley which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tight to ensure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note, in the block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the 3^rd floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and collarbone. Slowing on slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom broke out of the barrel. Devoid of weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in the accident reporting form, block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3^rd floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounted for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries. When I fell into the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six storey’s above me…I again  lost  presence of my mind, and let go off the rope!

Well the question you are asking yourself is maybe what this is. Have you ever laughed so silly that you thought you would die? Or have you ever experienced the feeling one gets when you are tickled, maybe you can remember your days when you were a kid. I had the experience when I was a kid. My grandpa used to tickle us and we would laugh until we lost our breath.

Pathological laughter can apparently cause your muscles to weaken to the extent that you can fall down and hurt yourself. It may also lead to a lesion or induce a heart attack. Apparently people with this disorder can laugh themselves to death. Do you believe this? I did not believe either until I did my research.

Take for instance your time by checking out this funniest joke in the world; two hunters were out in the woods when one of them collapsed. He didn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes were glazing. The other hunter pulled out his cell phone and called emergency services. He then gasps to the operator, ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies. ‘Take it easy, I can help. First let’s make sure that he is dead.’ There is a silence and then a short is heard. Back on the phone, the other hunter says, ‘Okay, now what?’

You don’t have to tell me whether you laughed, but if you really did, then you are in really good company.

The funniest joke in the world also refers to a Monty Python video about a joke that is so funny that everybody who hears it dies literally of laughter. Eventually, the military began to use the joke as their secret weapon the details I don’t know. I laughed while watching that video but the comments posted on that video made me laugh louder.

It’s very clear that many people suffer from this disorder all over the world. After watching this video, I was curious to find out whether there are recorded cases of people who have died from laughter. Strangely, according to Wikipedia, there are a number of cases as I came to find out. The earliest one was the Greek philosopher Chrysippus, about three centuries before Christ, who died guffawing after giving wine to his donkey and watching it try to eat figs. More than a thousand years later on, king Martin of Aragon died from a combination of indigestion and uncontrollable laughter. Also ten years ago a Thai ice cream salesman died while laughing in his sleep. Just this year an insurance salesman Charles Baltimore died laughing while trying to sell to a famous accordion player…………Laugh sanely on this day!